Emergency Contacts

Last week, my son went across the world to study and my husband had major surgery. These events happened within days of each other.

I wanted to just stay in bed. There was this general feeling of sadness…like something was off. I couldn’t get a handle on everything going on around me.

So I did something remarkably out of character.

When people called to check on me, I didn’t say I was fine. I actually said, “I’m sad.” These people didn’t dismiss the feeling, but they just listened. It felt good to be heard.

When people called and asked if I needed anything, I said, “Yes, would you mind driving Elena to the hospital?” and “Yes, could you please find me a counter-height chair?” Each request was granted without hesitation.

It has always been hard for me to ask for help because I didn’t want to be a burden.  But, the last couple of days, I called on a small team of people who have assembled around my life waiting to help out, and I found that they were happy to help me.

I have always been everyone’s Emergency Contact.  If someone’s kid needs to be picked up from school or something needs to be done on a work day, I am THE person to call.

This week, I found out that I had Emergency Contacts, too.  They can pretty much do anything…except read minds.

Do you struggle with reaching out to people for help?  Why is it so hard to ask?

Let’s Go and Lets Go

I have 163 days left in my 40s.

My mantra for 2018 is “Let’s Go” with the apostrophe. In 2017, I lived a life of excuses:  I was too busy, too broke, too sick…the list was long.

With “Let’s Go!” as this year’s mission statement, my priorities become clearer:

  • Spend time with the people I love? Let’s Go!
  • Throw out all things in the house that I’m hoarding?  Let’s Go!
  • Get in better shape?  Let’s Go!

The mantra can be modified by dropping the apostrophe, “…lets go.”

  • Coz lets go of worrying about things out of her control.
  • Coz lets her children go without giving them the doom and gloom speech of all the bad things that can happen.
  • Coz lets go of toxic people and drama.

I was going to apologize for speaking in third person, but I’m letting it go.

I want to live in my 50s without making excuses or apologizing for choosing me.  In my 30s and 40s, I thought it was honorable to put everyone ahead of myself.  Everyone was fine, but I became more unhealthy and unhappy.

I gained 20 pounds.  I started medication for high blood pressure.  This isn’t how I want to live the next half of my life.

I am determined to spend these last 163 days working on the best me for 50.  LET’S GO!

I am so happy you all are still with me in 2018. What are your goals for 2018?  And what is your plan to get them done?